VELDA | singapore
0 2 d e c e m b e r
nanyang poly MEDIA STUDIES
nanyang tech LINGUISTICS
this is [hatsuyuki] , where velda has been rocking the grammar since [180706]
i like my parfaits and maple syrup-drenched hotcakes
hmm, what else.. oh yes,
maybe listening to me isnt such a bad idea after all
I just spent one hour reading the whole blog of this person I don't know, and don't think I ever will get to meet. But she writes so openly, so provocatively, that you cannot help but keep scrolling down and down, summat like being addicted to a very trashy tabloid. When i first started reading I was turned off, exclaiming at how a young mother like her can be so petulant and naive about so many things. She rides on an emotional roller coaster, never stopping to consider her poor overworked slip of a husband, and the fact that both of them being 23, needs to see things clearer in perspective instead of just thinking about quitting the marriage as soon as something bad happens.
Yet somehow I get her. I see her worries, and how alone she feels, and how much she just wants to be surrounded by people who love her in these early stages of childbirth. How much she is affected by the baby, by her family's reaction to the baby, and by her husband's seeming unconcern in anything that has to do with raising a family. I see her point that family should come first, but you'd realise all she cares about in the end is herself and how she feels, and how it's the responsibility of the people who love her to make her happy. She uses her baby as an excuse, and to me, that's just a sign of inner weakness.
She's supposably the strong headed person in this relationship, and the things she has done (as detailed very clearly in her blog) to 'punish' her husband made me gasp audibly. It made me think about myself, about what kind of person I could be. I guess when I forget myself, and if I find someone as accepting and as unstrict with me as her husband, I would become like that. But now, I think I've trained myself to think twice.
And yes, friends around me are getting married left, right and centre, and while I receive their news with happiness, I guess every relationship is unique and different, and its up to the couple to figure out what works best for them.
For this particular girl, I just hope she learns her lesson soon in the softest way possible.
that's probably more worth it as a tweet, but I always am pleasantly surprised when i meet people who understand what i need to hear at the right time, that i decided to blog.
I bumped into sharon yesterday, So surreal sometimes, when you talk about someone to a mutual friend, and two days later to see that exact someone along the streets of Orchard Road exactly how you pictured her to be. If I didn't speak to Ah May I probably wouldn't have called out to her though.
She was still as I remembered, always full of love and smiles for me. She liked to tell people about how she had a lot of hope for me, and how she saw I could be someone successful. She was someone who helped me grow up, and I'm so glad I met her.
---
I don't know if you feel so, but I do like being quiet with you, with noise all around. It's kind of comforting.
Just a couple of hours ago I reacquainted myself with someone I haven't seen in ten years, a junior from student council. We chatted a little on facebook, and I remembered how much we used to love him in secondary school. He was the kind of guy you didn't want anyone to hurt, but yet, he was so strong a person you knew you never need to. He said he hasn't changed, and somehow I do believe that, yknow. I don't think the 16 year old me really got to know him well enough, but he's such a character I can imagine him coming straight out of a Haruki Murakami book. And I bet the 15 year old him, might have seen right through my facade, but being him just kept quiet unless he saw the need to talk (which isn't often, by the way).
He doesn't smile a lot, but when he does you'd feel a sense of relief, somehow. He's still there, you'd think, he gets what we've been saying. I think the word is intrigue. I am intrigued by him as a person. I am amazed at his chinese writings, his gorgeous sketches and drawings, his path of choice, his personality. It's not attraction, but it's an unusual feeling of wanting to observe a person more. Honestly, I don't know what that actually means.
If I ever get to the US I think I would go down East just to meet this enigma. See if I can see past that face that is so often inscrutable and impenetrable.
Darvish Yu is the hottest, most talked about pitcher in the major leagues this season. And he's finally playing the Mariners next week on Monday. I have been waiting years to watch him play in the US, but in all my wildest dreams I never expected him to be in the AL West. Knn.
He mightn't be the most uncontroversial personality in baseball with his divorce to Saeko and whatnot, but he is an amazing amazing pitcher, and that is what I signed up to watch I suppose. And he can pitch with both arms. While I really want the M's to win, its going to be a tough one. Oh, and did I mention they are at the top of the division now? Good times, start of the season. Always gives one hope. Haha.
Outside studying now, but I'll update more when I have time. Been spending the long weekend finishing the Percy Jackson series, and seriously, my brain is fried with too much Greek mythology set in young adult fiction to think further than this.
I believe that says you choose your state of mind. Happiness is not a given, go work for it.
To have a happiness that is not contingent upon the next good thing that is going to happen, but to be at rest with what is happening right now. - Sam Harris
Oh, if I could shake that into some friends I would.
Thought I would try blogging as I'm on the bus back from Jessica's house. Gymming and swimming with her has been fun, and I get to catch up with a friend I havent had much opportunity to see that often in the years I've known her. And it keeps me exercising, which is a good excuse not to wake up at 7am on Saturdays to walk bukit timah hill with Sanyi and Siyi, haha. Run, okay. Not 7am lah please.
I believe sometimes we worry too much about how people see us. I think somehow I've been blessed with a self-confidence I don't know why I have, after the whole secondary school fiasco. I think I have to thank Yusof Ishak and Shawn, Melissa, Kianyong for that. But I think there are times where I could easily just be kidding myself that people like me in general. This sounds funny when I type it out, but there is an element of truth in that. But that's what a healthy mind should not be worrying about, isn't it? We embrace the people who love us, but tune out the pointless caring about how we appear in front of people who don't like us. We don't identify it, we don't get affected.
Wherefore in dreams are sorrows borne anew, A healed wound opened, or the past revived? Last night in my deep sleep I dreamed of you; Again the old love woke in me, and thrived On looks of fire, and kisses, and sweet words Like silver waters purling in a stream, Or like the amorous melodies of birds: A dream--a dream!
Again upon the glory of the scene There settled that dread shadow of the cross That, when hearts love too well, falls in between; That warns them of impending woe and loss. Again I saw you drifting from my life, As barques are rudely parted in a stream; Again my heart was torn with awful strife: A dream--a dream!
Again the deep night settled on me there, Alone I groped, and heard strange waters roll, Lost in that blackness of supreme despair That comes but once to any living soul. Alone, afraid, I called your name aloud-- Mine eyes, unveiled, beheld white stars agleam, And lo! awake, I cried, "Thank God, thank God! A dream--a dream!"
I'm happy, really happy about this, but it's opened up a box of a lot of things I have to look at before I can really make my decision. And when I do, it is going to open up another can of worms. But I have been living in my comfort zone for many years now, and as I told Cheryl, I've been really lucky, cause things I have chosen to do in my life have led me to a stage where I can choose now.
Having a choice is always a good thing, even if one of the choices require extra hard work and a lot of focus, something which I can probably admit will take me a lot of willpower. But I don't want to give up chances now. I did before entering university, but now I somehow think I can make a decision and be responsible for it. I'm turning 25, and it's about time I do that, isn't it? Hah.
porridge buffet lunch, gym, mini babybel and Hunger Games, maah-maah and supermarket-shopping, neutrogena rainbath 32 fl ounces finally, and sushi for dinner. I love my sundays sometimes.
